Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s here now, writing to you.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Incredible 'black smokers' discovered in a part of the deep ocean where they should not exist - Earth.com

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I have BPD. Why do I destroy everyone I love?

I had run out of hope.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s still here.

Why are perceived or real slights interpreted as rejections and reality by pwBPD?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

The sadness was still there.

Costco makes key moves to protect prices from tariffs - TheStreet

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I was tired of fighting.

I was tired of trying and failing.

If you believe in God, do you think God can save you from cancer?

You are like me, then.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

A rocket scientist wrestles with backlash over her Blue Origin flight - The Washington Post

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

What is the best way to get my wife to become a hotwife?

Be who you already are.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

How did Madri, mother of Nakula and Sahadeva die?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Is a man over 50 not married no kids a red flag?

And the sadness?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.